Farmers vs The Walking Dead

I get asked a lot of interesting questions by all kinds of people about farming, but last week I may have gotten the best one yet.  Tammy Luck of Grown Up, Now What? hit me with a zombie question on twitter.  As we all know zombies can be a huge problem, but if nothing else farmers are innovative and can make due with what supplies they have on hand in a pinch.  So when the zombie hoards start you can be sure farmers will be locked up in the shop with scrap metal, torches, and welders preparing to take on the undead.  We’ve already got vehicles on hand that are tank-like, and I’ve found other farmers have already considered what they would do if the worst happens.

Since I was in the field already I thought the tractor I was driving would be a pretty good tool for surviving the zombie apocalypse.


I think our 8420 would make a great post apocalyptic vehicle because of its ground clearance, power, and lines of sight in all directions.  It can also power all eight tires when needed and turn around in a relatively small space.  I wouldn’t have any type of trailered implement attached.  In a pinch you don’t want to take the extra time to back up an articulated rig.  From the tweet you can see that I think some kind of metal cage/plow around the tractor would offer both offensive and defensive capabilities.  Since tractors are already equipped with hydraulics I’m sure I could think of all kinds of zombie slaying weapons to be built and controlled from the comfort of the tractor cab.

Other Ideas

I shared Tammy’s tweet on facebook and twitter to see what kind of responses I’d get.  A lot of people are going with harvest equipment.  I think that’s a good idea on the surface due to zombie shredding potential, but I’m a bit concerned.  On many harvesters you only have windows that see forward, left, and right.  Not behind.  And they are often large.  Too many places for zombies to latch on in my opinion.  I’d also be worried about the equipment getting jammed up if one were to try to harvest the zombies.

Your Plans

One person suggested outfitting his pickup truck.  I think this may actually be the best option.  My tractor would be great for rolling over zombies and shoving them out of the way, but it wouldn’t be the best for long distance travel.  Plus I could only take one other adult comfortably.  A four door, long bed, 4×4 truck might just be your best bet.  You can carry people and plenty of gear while moving quickly.

What will you do to survive the zombies!?  I’m preparing by watching The Walking Dead on Netflix because I’ve never seen the show.  Leave a comment and let me know.

About Brian

Farming 2300 acres of corn, soybeans, popcorn, and wheat with my father and grandfather in Northwest Indiana.
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11 Responses to Farmers vs The Walking Dead

  1. Mike Haley says:

    I think I would have to go with a quadrack as I would be afraid zombies sharp bones and teeth may flatten your tires and put you in a bind.

  2. Tammy says:

    Thank you for not thinking I’m a total nutter for asking the question. I was SOOOOO impressed by the creativity and passion all the farmers showed in their answers.

  3. Anonymous says:

    What about a discbine? You could even round bale the zombies afterwards so they can’t escape if they’re not totally dead.

  4. acpinkston says:

    what about hand to hand tools lying around the barn? I’d think a pitch fork but most of my ideas of whats really on a farm come from “green acres.”

  5. This was a great post!! Made me smile and made me think too…………………………………hummm. I have a bulldozer setting in my yard right now. It might come in handy?

  6. I don’t think you can stay on offense forever. Defense is another part of the equation. Where and how on your farm would you set up your base to defend yourself from an undead horde?

  7. Lana says:

    Totally unrelated, but my hubby is figuring out custom billing and I thought I would send you the rate sheet he uses so you can see some of what it’s all about.

    Fun times. Just when you get out of the field and think you are done, the REAL fun begins of figurin’, fixin’, and future plannin’ 😉

    Happy Thanksgiving!

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